»The rest of the country offers you a place to stay.
»Munted and buggered are official technical terms.
»You go "pfffff" when Wellington has a 4.5 earthquake that's 40km deep.
»You see a nice park in another city and think it would make a good evacuation point.
»You sleep in one suburb, shower in another and collect water from yet another.
»You drive on the right side of the road and no-one thinks it's wrong.
»You are happy two police officers came to visit.
»Your bike becomes your best friend.
»You think it's fine for a soldier to be stationed at the end of your street.
»You see armoured vehicles driving down the road.
»It's normal to greet people with "do you need a shower?"
»Every house is a crack house.
»Instead of rushing to the clothesline to get clothes in when it rains, You put dirty washing on the line in the hope it will rain enough to clean them.
»Going to Wellington to escape earthquakes makes sense.
»Your doctor recommends having a few stiff drinks before bed.
»You know how to start and refuel a generator with ease.
»You have tied the pantry, liquor cabinet and all the cupboard doors closed - and not to keep kids out.
»You prefer to sit under the table instead of at it.
»You think electronics that have "shock proof" should say to which earthquake magnitude.
»You know and understand the terms and conditions of your house and contents insurance.
»Your en-suite has a vege garden, dog kennel and grass.
»Your teenagers are only too happy to sleep in the same room as their parents.
»Dressing up to "head into town" means putting on a hi-viz vest, hard hat and boots.
»Discussing toilet habits with total strangers is an everyday norm.
»Wee boys don't get excited when they see (another) digger or a dozer - but all the adults in the street cheer wildly.
»Voluntarily staying in Timaru for five days seems like a good idea.
»You have dust mask tan lines.
»When a massive group of students appears in your street, you feel overwhelmed with gratitude, instead of calling the police. And what's more they leave the street in better condition than when they arrived.
»The answer to where anything is . . . "it's on the floor".
»You smile at strangers and greet people like you're one big family.